In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for October 09, 2009

  1. Stewiebrian
    pouncingtiger  about 15 years ago

    Said Paul Crewe’s wide receiver (after getting out of prison).

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  2. Penalty flag
    Offside  about 15 years ago

    Mean Machine…Mean Machine

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  3. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member about 15 years ago

    “I think I broke his —–ing neck!” The band is playing “Pray for the dead and…bomp…bomp…bomp…the dead will pray for you,” while the anouncer and doctor confirm their suspicions. ” I told you I broke his —–ing neck!

    It worked once, It oughta work again. On three…BREAK! (said Crew After nailing the Walking Boss in the pills with a perfect strike).

    Stuff this in your trophie chest.

    Just a few of my favorite lines from the original movie.

    A
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  4. Phonepic3altered4
    yyyguy  about 15 years ago

    great trailer, Offside.

    A

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  5. Familyguy  brian tini 72
    jim10333  about 15 years ago

    This guy could be someone in my support group!!

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  6. Penalty flag
    Offside  about 15 years ago

    BC13

    ———————————————— Caretaker: Most of these old boys don’t have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let your teammates down, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

    Paul Crewe: Oh I did, did I?

    Caretaker: Oh I ain’t saying you did or you didn’t. All I’m saying is that you could have robbed banks, or stole your grandmother’s pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off of a football game, man that’s un-American.

    ———————————————— Paul Crewe: You take your football down here real serious, don’t you?

    Caretaker: You mind if I ask you one question?

    Paul Crewe: Yes, I do mind!

    Caretaker: Why did you do it?

    Paul Crewe: It’s a long story.

    Caretaker: Well, I got eight years.

    ————————————————– Paul Crewe: We’re gettin’ up a football game against the guards. Wondered if maybe you would like to join in on the fun. Heard you played some football.

    Con: Yeah.

    Paul Crewe: Where?

    Con: Oklahoma State.

    Paul Crewe: Oklahoma State U?

    Con: Prison.

    ———————————————— Paul Crewe: The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!

    ———————————————— Paul Crewe: Hey Pop, the time you hit the Warden in the mouth, was it worth 30 years?

    Pop: For me it was.

    Paul Crewe: Then give me my ‘bleeping’ shoe!

    ———————————————— Coach Granville: Alright men, now here’s the play we’re gonna use. I don’t think the guards know this formation. It’s called ‘incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.’ Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth.

    ———————————————— Paul Crewe: You know, there’s only one thing I’m sorry about.

    Warden Hazen: What’s that, Mr. Crewe?

    Paul Crewe: That you’re not out here with us knockin’ heads.

    Warden Hazen: I’m afraid I’m a little old for that.

    Paul Crewe: No, you never had the guts to begin with!

    ———————————————— Warden Hazen: [to Captain Knauer] Shoot him! Shoot him!

    Captain Knauer: [giving the rifle to Warden Hazen] Game ball!

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  7. Batman2
    battman911  about 15 years ago

    Good to see Michael Vick back in comics…

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  8. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member about 15 years ago

    Offside WOW. I think you’ve got the whole script memorized. Suuuuperstar!

    We’ve come this far….For Granny, Nate and Caretaker. Let’s do it!

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  9. Penalty flag
    Offside  about 15 years ago

    BC13

    The Longest Yard is my favorite guy movie, but the quotes were a lateral pass from a great movie source:

    The Internet Movie Database

    For example, Longest Yard bloopers:

    Near the end of the game, when the Mean Machine attempts a drop kick on fourth down, the kick actually goes outside the goal posts (as can be confirmed in frame by frame scan), and should have been ruled as no good.

    Longest Yard Bloopers

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  10. Wolf3
    COWBOY7  about 15 years ago

    Well, just keep moving the chain gangs!!

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  11. Foxhound1
    bald  about 15 years ago

    i thought this was the oakland raider teams of the 70’s

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  12. Penalty flag
    Offside  about 15 years ago

    bald 716

    Ah, yes, the NFL (National Felon League). That’s a whole other thread.

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