Cow and Boy Classics by Mark Leiknes for July 13, 2014

Transcript:

"I'm going to dedicate my life to science." "I will spend my formative years studying science and ignoring my social calendar." "Not that it will be filled with. I will realize early on that the girls are more interested in the boys who play sports." "No matter, I will have science to keep me company. And all my years of studying will pay off when I am admitted into an ultra-elite college and in turn become the top scientist in my field." "My scientific accomplishments will make me happy for a while but then I'll start to feel empty inside because I'll have no one to share them with. I'll question my path in life and wonder why I spent all those years alone." "I'll overcompensate and spend my research grants developing a super-strength serum so I can impress the ladies. The serum will work, but it will also send me into a hulk-like rage and I'll completely destroy my laboratory along with my life's work." "Disgraced, I will be left with nothing. Nothing but the satisfaction that I dedicated my life to a worthy cause and if I had not completely obliterated that cause in a 'roid-induced fury, I might have actually made a difference in someone else's life." "I think I'm going to go outside and play now." "Not me, my friend, I have a date with destiny."