Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 04, 2013
January 31, 2013
February 07, 2013
Transcript:
the language of valentines i think you're ducky! cute little card "i love you. let's elope at recess." scented bath salts "i love you, but you have smell issues." expensive perfume "the scented bath salts are not working." a single perfect rose "i love you anal reten-tively." a single perfect chocolate "i love you, but i got hungry." lacy under-things "i'm thinking of tyra banks - no! you! i'm thinking of you." huggwub beargram & jellybeans "my ardor for you dwarfs that of romeo for juliet - o! fain would i linger in thy sweet arms but alas! for i've eaten all the jellybeans, too."
Ida No almost 12 years ago
“Com’on, recess!”
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Eaten all the chocolates save one? And eaten all the jelly beans, too? No Tyra Banks “you” for you, I fear, fatty!
el8 almost 12 years ago
As she’s making love with me on the silk sheets I bought her for Valentine’s Day, why does she keep shouting “Jesus” when my name is Win?
Comicsexpert almost 12 years ago
ah, such a relief to find Thompson amongst all the pretenders on this site
dramac333 almost 12 years ago
Alas! Thy chocolates and jellybeans are gone, but mine true love doth remain!
PoodleGroomer almost 12 years ago
Smoke some bath salts and see if lust ensues.