Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for June 27, 2013

Just a new interface gesture: snip.

in a pinch it can relieve your crustaceans

I think there’s a no-pinching claws in his insurance contract…but I’m not sure whether it has any teeth in it.

Insurance is a shell game anyway.

Sure they can collect their 8 extra clams a month on his bill,but when he needs his phone replaced they get shellfish.

I didn’t think hermits texted.

Clueless Nitwitting paused beclalws of a nasty beech.

Better to approach him from the side.