Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 23, 2014

Little Larry Foo Foo,Running through the backyard,Picking up the lemmingsAnd bopping ’em on the head.

The lemmings should be more concerned about what’s on the other end of the body being whacked by a mallet.

Hey, you can’t fool me, concussins are my twin cousins!

Given the Crocs’ trouble with catching prey, It’s funny that tthey would rather use the lemmings as croquet balls than eat them. Maybe they should have lemming croquettes instead of lemming croquet.

Where does one get a bunch of extra-small Santa hats in late March?And who sells croquet sets with lemmings instead of balls?!This just ain’t right, folks!

May the Power of the Crocs, be with all of you !

if I had my druthers…I think I would choose a CLIFF!

Christmas Lemmings!

Merry Xmas, Larry!

The logic is infallible.

At least Larry tried.

Risk management.

But then, what would Santa be doing that would put him in danger of hitting his head?:Standing up too soon after coming down the chimney; if he hasn’t cleared the mantle yet, the kids will soon hear something other than “Ho ho ho.”

He works in the biggest toy factory in the world. Figure he and the elves are busy 360 to 363 days out of the year making toys for millions of kids. Not regularly an occupation that requires head gear, but things are flying around the toy making factory on an hourly basis. Some kind of hard hat I needed againt that.

Plus there’s the flying reindeer. Gotta keep them in flying shape and ready to make evasive maneuvers on the big night in case they encounter a 747 or are intercepted by fighter jocks who mistake the sleigh and team as an enemy bomber. So he’s gotta wear some kind of head gear that would serve as a flight helmet.

On top of that Santa has to continuously practice going up and down chimneys. Millions of kids around the world waiting for presents. There’s still millions more who wont be getting a visit from Santa. But while that frees up a little time for him for each visit, he doesn’t have that much time to waste on a single house. So he’s gotta be able to climb up and down those chimneys in less time than it takes you or I to blink. And that means lots and lots of practice during the year. Needs some kind of hard hat to keep from getting a head injury as he practices you know.

His hat appears to be just a floppy red velvet hat trimmed in white fur. But in reality that’s just the outer covering of the hard helmet he wears.

Awww, They look cute!

xxx

“There ain’t no sanity clause!”

Possible reference to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Lemmings

my sister’s kids are always breaking the law. and theyre always trying to get to go in on it, too, but i dont want to. thats why i bought a helmet. i heard it will protect me from con cousins…

Is “mallett-a-lemming” anything like “wack-a-mole”??