Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for March 21, 2014

WANTED: Boat builder (7 days experience minimum) to design and construct a vessel large enough to hold 2 of each and every animal on the planet. Boat must be capable of staying waterproof through a forty day rainstorm. NO CARRIER PIGEON CALLS, PLEASE!

Angelica’s list?

I think it was Pre-Fab!

Swimming won’t be needed. If my memory isn’t flawed, the threat next time is fire. I keep fire extinguishers handy. :-)

If he doesn’t have any luck on Angie’s List, he can always try Craigslist.

OK. Who thinks that the Noah’s Ark story is totally bollocks?

If computers had existed back then, there would have been websites insisting that the flood was God’s doing, exactly as the Bible says. Then there would have been those arguing that it was purely a natural phenomenon (perhaps due to climate change), and then the conspiracy theorists who would insist that the government caused it.

I think I’ll just stick with Bill Cosby’s version: "There’s a fella by the name of Noah who built an ark . . . "

It’s kinda funny at first but the you realize that’s why they think man and dinosaurs existed at the same time too.