Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 05, 2014

@ A Common ’tater

It was Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhikers Giude To The Galaxy” and the part you refer to is

‘For years, the fabulously beautiful planet of Bethselamin increased its booming tourist industry without any worries at all. Alas, as is often the case, this was an act of utter stupidity, as it led to a colossal cumulative erosion problem. Of course, what else could one expect with ten billion tourists per annum? Thus today the net balance between the amount you eat and the amount you excrete while on the planet is surgically removed from your body weight when you leave; so every time you got to the lavatory there, it is vitally important to get a receipt’

Ah, the late great Douglas Adams. Such an acute wit.

*Guide

Actually, most orchards with a “pick-your-own” system allow the patrons to eat as much as they like for free while they are there. Usually, they don’t begin this part until late in the season and it’s not economical to pay pickers for the small section(s) left untouched.

Two ways for weight???

Don’t eat unwashed fruit.

Talk about “Red in the face!” (Sort of fighting fire with fire, so to speak.)

Better than the old way of cavity searches.

i’m still in search of “pick-your-own-doughnuts”