The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 08, 2014

Whats harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen!

Very, very old joke!

Poor elephants…They’ll never escape from being typecast in silly jokes…..

You do know why elephants drink, right?

To forget.

African or Indian elephants btw? Considering female indian elephants don´t have tusks. :)

How can you stop an entire herd of elephants from charging?

Take away their credit cards!

Ba-dum, boom, tsssssh!

Why did the elephant paint himself all different colors?

So he could hide in a crayon box.

Slapping noses doesn’t sound sexy.

What’s that red, squishy stuff between and Indian elephants toes?.Slow Indians.

How can you tell an elephant has been in your fridge?.Look for tracks in your butter.

What is gray, has a tail, four legs, and a trunk?.An elephant?.Nope, a mouse on vacation…..Since when do mice have trunks?.When a suitcase just won’t hold everything.

So mellow. :)

How about Sister Mary Elephant?

I prefer this version.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRqWWRCT5Cs

“I once shot an elephant in my pajamas !” How he got into my pajamas I never know !" Groucho !

You are too funny! By the way, where do they sit to make out?………..Great elephant jokes today. Too bad I won’t remember them……….because, you know, I’m not an elephant.

No, your comment IS funny too. Great jokes by everyone!!!!!

I doubt they live in Alabama, because the Tuscaloosa there.

Foreplay is tricky for elephants, but baby play is a lot easier:

@Al S. Why do I love the Muppets so? Elif I know!

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don’t! You get down from a duck.

King Babar and Queen Celeste managed to have children; maybe they did it elephant-style.

What’s the difference between a bunch of grapes and an elephant? Don’t know? You’d be a fine one to send to the store for grapes.

What did Johnny say as the elephants passed by in the circus parade? “Here come the grapes!” (Johnny was color-blind.)

How do you get six elephants in a Volkswagen? Three in the back and three in the front.

Wiseguy in a deli: Can you make any kind of sandwich?Deli Owner: Any kind, sir.Wiseguy: Okay, give me an elephant on rye.Deli Owner: I’m sorry, sir, we can’t start a whole elephant for just one sandwich.

Why don’t elephants ride tricycles? They don’t have a finger to ring the little bell.

Why do elephants wear trench coats and dark glasses? You’d want a disguise, too, if people kept telling all those jokes about you.