Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for December 11, 2014

One definition of a pessimist.

Cosmo’s got it right! ;)

THAT’S no lie! Usually less time than that.Even if you’re the victim.

Job No. 1 of insurance company: Hang on to the money.

No insurance company is in business for your benefit.

Closer to 15 seconds

The business plan of insurance companies is to deny as many claims as possible.

“I had a car that I wasn’t even driving, I was in the store, get ran over by an 18 wheeler, and they raised my rate.”.I am struggling to get a handle on this. You say you were in the store and you were run over by an 18 wheeler? Was someone moving a bunch of shopping carts, or what?

First lesson is, “Never buy anything from a talking lizard!”.Or duck, cow, gerbil, etc.

You can get a discount if you take an AARP driving course. But to get the discount, you have to get written proof that you did, and deliver the proof to your agent.But get a ticket – that goes on automatically!

You’re with the wrong insurance company….you need the one with so called accident forgiveness!! IF you pay extra for that coverage…..

This is a polite way of saying that they get you coming and going. In most states, you can’t drive without insurance and can’t mortgage a home without insurance. But insurers can raise your rates even if you’ve never had a claim, and drop you because you’re in what they call a ‘risky area’ (meaning their investors might lose money.)-Health insurance is the biggest racket of all. You pay and they don’t. You spend months trying to get ‘pre-approved’ for a test, and die of cancer while waiting. And it’s no one’s fault. If they drove a car at you, they would be at fault. If they deny you the right to be tested for cancer, they’re ‘just doing their job’, like good Nazis….

Wow. This would make a decent movie script, and you’d earn enough from the sale of it that you wouldn’t need insurance on your next car (which should be an Army tank, from the sound of your area..)

Oh, it takes less time than that, Cosmo. I’ll have to tell you about it someday. Pretty sure no one wants to read the saga tonight.