Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for April 22, 2010

And for gosh sakes, no Tolstoy!

Hey, this is getting good!

No Joyce, HA! that’s funny.

I’m enjoying this as well. Can’ t wait for tomorrow!!

No Pynchon – that just won’t do –

get you laptop out…and boot up!

Joyce is fine … just don’t make me read “Kate Goslins” book! PLEASE!

Hey! This strip is getting funny again!

I’ve loved this week, and today’s was my favorite so far.

This strip has been funny since Harrell took over.

Brillianto!

haha, I’m an English major. This is hilarious! My professors would love this.

When did gonna become an acceptable word in the King’s English?????????????

Professor Jennings (Donald Sutherland) in Animal House:

“Don’t write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He’s a little bit long-winded, he doesn’t translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.”

A perfect weapon against the literary thugs.

dante, there’s no need to worry about Tolstoy, nor your namesake. They’re English lit thugs.

Personally, I’ve no love for Joyce, but Pynchon holds no terror for me. The truly scary part is when they break out the Twilight Saga, or the latest from Nicholas Sparks…

I also have a cyanide capsule implanted in my molar in case I’m ever threatened with D.H. Lawrence or the Romantic poets.

Bulwer-Lytton wasn’t nearly the hack that people nowadays think of him. He, with his “dark and stormy night” sentence, was merely a prominent producer of a style of prose that was once fashionable but is no longer so. I won’t go to the mat in his defense, but it’s primarily a question of changing tastes. You can find sentences just as bad as any of Bulwer-Lytton’s in just about anything by Dickens. That’s one of the unintended consequences of paying authors by the word.

LOOK OUT! THEY HAVE LIMERICKS!

Limericks done well are a joy. But Lit thugs use them to annoy; To threaten and scare Like an old hirsute bear, Is their tired old nitpicking ploy.

I’d never laughed at Adam in my life. The streak is now over.

Threaten to rob Adam of his good name, guys! It enriches you not, but leaves him poor indeed!

The best way to protect your home from invasion by English Lit thugs is a sign reading “Beware of Doggerel.”

Beware of the big bad (Virginia) Woolf!

I’m no Man Who Would Be King, rricchhterrrrrr. A king is a thing… A thing of what? Nothing. (There’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.)

A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade, For and a shrouding sheet: O, a pit of clay for to be made For such a guest is meet.

“A spade? What wilt thou do? thou wilt not neuter me?”

I am myself indifferent honest, but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me. … What should such fellows as I do, crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves all, and we’ll steal your tarts, and take them clean away. Get thee to a bakery, and soon!

Young men will do ‘t, If they come to ‘t, By Coq! they are to blame!

O what a roué and pleasant knave am I!

The grave’s a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace. So try our coffins built for two, Something something something screw! [Needs work. - Ed.]

There. I’m Donne.