Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 04, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack fireworks to avoid by richard thompson endless snake burns for up to 24 hours, leaving a miles-long mass of carbon and ineradicably staining your driveway, sidewalk or patio! kid: i'm so bored. kim jong il-lumination highly unstable and difficult to control. may go off if you so much as look at it cross-eyed. toppling destructo tower of doom tips over upon ignition, scorch-ing your yard (or your neighbor's) right down to the roots. always a big hit on america's funniest videos. x-treme timidity assortment recommended for those who dislike anything loud, bright or sudden. duds, damp squibs, msifires, fizzles, shushing librari-ans, sighing babies and throatclearers. shus libra