Pickles by Brian Crane for October 03, 2015

“You know," said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”“Why, what did she tell you?”“I don’t know, I didn’t listen.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The older Earl gets, the goofier he gets. Hindsight is 20/20. He may look back and realize this was a good day for him.

When you plagiarize, make sure it is from someone good.

My father used to say “some day you’re going to kick yourself in the a$s for not listening to me” . I hate to admit it but I wish I paid more attention to him.j

Max: I was a protege of the great Boris Tomashevsky. He taught me everything I know. I’ll never forget, he turned to me on his death bed and said: “Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen kachen!”

Nun: What does that mean?

Max: Who knows, I don’t speak Yiddish. Strangely enough, neither did he.

See, Earl. That’s another reason you should put the lid down on the toilet – so your glasses won’t fall in. And, um, maybe you should switch back to a manual toothbrush.

@gmasj: Absolutely!

Dad said, “Son, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel!”

His dad probably told him, ‘Son, whatever you do in life, don’t sacrifice your dignity.’

I have ever more frequent days like this. Of course my father didn’t say: “Never Get Old”.

The answer to the whole thing is 42.