Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 31, 2015
Transcript:
halloween spooktacular 3 short tales of terror by richard thompson man: eeek house of creeping cottonballs a kinderfartner brings home an innocent-seem-ing class project that comes to life, expand-ing uncontrollably until the whole house is a heaving mass of cottonballs, glitter & glue! woman: eeeek cat: please, i'm trying to read. string the uncanny nap this lady wakes up from a brief nap to find herself in a parallel universe where cats control all the media! garfield is twice as ubiquitous & advertising is done with dangly pieces of string! lower level you are here hell cinnabon parking lot man 2: eek mall of the damned a guy goes to the mall to take ad-vantage of a sale on men's pants. but he gets lost & wanders for days! then he finds a map that says he's in hell! and all the pants on sale are relaxed fit wide-wale corduroy in "sphagnum green"!
Tirasmol about 9 years ago
That first one… glitter never goes away.
stamps about 9 years ago
Well, as long as there’s a Cinnabon in hell I’ll be happy.
Sisyphos about 9 years ago
How exactly does the Mall of the Damned differ from every other mall I’ve ever suffered through? Bad sales, confusing directional maps, lousy food…. —And that’s just the major, “good” malls, not the dinky neighborhood ones!
PoodleGroomer about 9 years ago
Hell only has dry clean only wool knit plaid pants.
ellisaana Premium Member about 9 years ago
Cotton balls or Tribbles in disguise?.I had a friend in school who loved wearing wide-wale corduroy pants in sphagnum green. That mall would be heaven to him, not hell.