Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for March 09, 2016
Transcript:
Chazz: Why are you giving that puppy a hard time about not fetching the newspaper? Poncho: I'm trying to soften him up so he's more subservient to my needs. Chazz: Poncho, you can't manipulate others into doing you bidding. Poncho: You're probably right. Chazz: If you think you can just use tricks to make them do what you want, you're wrong. Poncho: I guess so. Chazz: People aren't just going to fall for your little games. Poncho: I don't know what I was thinking.
Argythree over 8 years ago
Geez, Chaz, can you be any more subservient?
Templo S.U.D. over 8 years ago
oxymoron
juicebruce over 8 years ago
Chaz go run into a wall and maybe you might wake up !
Joken' over 8 years ago
He certainly played him out……………..Fool!
Algolei over 8 years ago
Wait, where’d he get a palm frond?
M. Jantze creator over 8 years ago
Hilarious, Paul!
Alphaomega over 8 years ago
Sadly for most dog owners,this is the reality!
tcar-1 over 8 years ago
To the two commenters above this one…….. exactly right… both of you!
dliley over 8 years ago
I fell down laughing. Go, Poncho!
dliley over 8 years ago
Thank god my dogs can’t read comics! Things are bad enough around here as it is!
Tawanda over 8 years ago
A comedian said that if aliens saw us walking our dogs, picking up their “poop” and doing as Chaz is(as we all do) they would think that the dogs were the leaders and we their servants. I’m paraphrasing and not doing it well but I think you get the gist?
daleandkristen over 8 years ago
One of the funniest yet…love the dog poop and foot wash.
annette143NotMe over 8 years ago
Dog DictionaryLEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go..
DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room..
DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don’t. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps..
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog’s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop..
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread..
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away..
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their persons want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down..
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels..
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean..
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently..
LEAN: Every good dogs’s response to the command “sit!”, especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events..
BUMP: The best way to get your human’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea..
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn’t get the attention you require…..especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above..
LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.