Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 09, 2017
January 06, 2017
January 10, 2017
Transcript:
civil war equine statue code explained. everyone knows that the many statues of civil war generals around d.c. are subtly encoded to indicate the fate of the subject. herewith a brief guide. sword drawn, horse rearing - died in battle with full attendant glory. henry moore-ish abstraction - fragged by cannon-ball. mounted on moose - went awol to canada. mounted on comfy chair - retired from military to consult for lucrative munitions industry. dismounted in drunken stupor - retired from military to become 18th president. hidden in barrel - found army life uncongenial. quit to become a rodeo clown.
wecatsgocomics about 8 years ago
Yes, Ulysses Grant DID have a fondness for what the great Zonker Harris called “traditional central nervous system depressants.” That would be, alcohol.Nagged about this, President Lincoln snapped, “Well, find out what he’s grinkin’ and I’ll send barrels to my other generals! Now, get off my case!”
fishbulb239 about 8 years ago
Don’t know how comfy his chair is (and he wasn’t a general, but was Commander-in-Chief), but does this mean that Lincoln would have promoted Gatling gun manufacturing had he not had that premature final curtain call?
Sisyphos about 8 years ago
Thank you, Richard (wherever you are nowadays), for explaining this esoteric code of sculptural art!