Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 24, 2018
September 21, 2018
September 25, 2018
Transcript:
there's an opossum in my garage! well don't panic! opossums are beneficial in many ways! they'll happily devour any lice, fleas, nits, ticks, chiggers, slugs, grubs, etc. infesting most foreign anddomestic cars, leaving them showroom-new! guy: hey! did you know? opossums are the only marsupial native to north america! they even predate the dinosaurs! this makes them just insufferable. possum: we came over to america in 153 mil-lion b.c., unlike some mammals i could name. opossum fun fact - when cornered an opossum will play dead, or at least fake a spastic colon, so convincingly that even hardened critics are fooled! it sure looked dead to me! -60 second preview better than 'shear madness!' -variety possum: agh opossums in the arts - american author henry james was famous for his collection of stuffed opossums! of course, it was probably one of those things where somebody once gave him a stuffed opossum & he feigned enthusiasm just to be nice & then - boom - everybody's giving him stuffed opossums until he's heartily sick of the wretched things. james had accumulated over 300 stuffed opossums by 1916 when he died, ironically of a spastic colon. want to learn more about opossums? come on over to my garage, but watch your step, there are tent-worms all over the place. next week - collecting snowglobes with ernest hemingway.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Opossums aren’t just the only marsupials native to North America, they’re the only marsupials native to ANYWHERE other than Australia or New Zealand. They were kicked out because they’re the only marsupials that aren’t cute.
jski14 almost 6 years ago
How I miss Richard. Nobody did it better. Thank God for re-runs (although some of these are new to me).
Bob. almost 6 years ago
There is a possum around my house that has been active a few mornings when I go get the paper. It doesn’t pay any attention to me, just continues plodding along.
deadheadzan almost 6 years ago
I miss Richard, too. I’m really happy to be able to see re-runs. I can’t "like comments, etc. today but really like this opossum strip!
Saucy1121 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
And if your dog catches one and doesn’t kill it, it will release stinky, sticky black fluid for said dog to roll in. If dog has long fur (see avatar) it can be interesting to get it out. Especially if it’s 7 a.m., dark, cold and you’re in your p.j.s trying to keep dog from heading back to either finish off the possum or roll in the black stuff some more.
Sisyphos almost 6 years ago
Opossums get a lot of bad press, but they’re actually not so bad when they’re not road kill….
beezel almost 6 years ago
I have a stuffed possum. My husband plays and sings a song called The Tupperware Possum Party. We have a whole tape of possum songs. We’re real fun at a party.