Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for January 04, 2017

  1. Cat29
    x_Tech  over 7 years ago

    Pete: No, Stan, I was going to ask you if you’re putting on weight .

     •  Reply
  2. Tigresstree  copy enh1
    Tigressy  over 7 years ago

    Tony asked,

    nothing yet – neither on twitter nor on facebook.

     •  Reply
  3. 00712 whiteheron
    whiteheron  over 7 years ago

    Not to worry Tony, I’ve got nothing either.

     •  Reply
  4. Avatar
    neverenoughgold  over 7 years ago

    Man Rules

     

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

     

    2. Crying is blackmail.

     

    3. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

     

    4. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

     

    5. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

     

    6. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

     

    7. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

     

    8. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

     

    9. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

     

    10. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

     

    11. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

     

    12. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

     

    13. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

     

    14. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

     

    15. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

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