Close to Home by John McPherson for March 15, 2018

Eh, what did you say?

The museum funhouse had hearing aids that made you sound like you were breathing helium; it was a howl.

The admission price was steep, because they knew if you could afford hearing aids you had the money.

Next date: Shopping for designer colostomy bags.

Ageist joke.

Yeah, but the Gents of our time were certainly a better sort of men. They were oft times a little goofy, still are but in a nice way, but you didn’t have to fear for life and limb.

I’d like to go to that museum. Hearing aids are a lot more interesting than you might think. Mine can do bluetooth!

Clara died before Brad could score on the third date.

He’s got some teeth! He’s a real catch!

Huh?

I wonder if his battery charger, spare false teeth, and adult diapers fit in his “sporty” walker’s pouch. The walker runs on “1-old-man’s gas power”…

I can laugh at this even though I am 79 years old. I began to realize that I was old, years ago, when I noticed that women in their 50s were starting to open doors for me!

I had to look it up. I’m a geek like that. There is a hearing aid museum in Ohio, but in Kent, not Toledo.

Why does her walker only have two wheels ? I think it’s a set up she’s gonna fall in the museum and taken to court