After spending the day with a bunch of kids, I bet most mall Santas probably agree with Lucas. I don’t hate kids, but they can, at times, be hard to handle. And after 8 hours? Whew!
It looks like Lucas should read David Sedaris’ The Santaland Diaries.
Children: Pro & Con
– from Fran Lebowitz
Pro:
A “mere child” is preferable to a mere adult.
Children are small, which makes them useful for getting at those hard-to-reach places.
Children ask better questions, like “May I have a cookie?” and “Why is the sky blue?” as opposed to “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?”
Children make better Scrabble opponents because they are easier to beat and fun to cheat.
Con:
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Children respond inadequately to sardonic humor and veiled threats.
Children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one’s interest in the topic has waned.
Children are rarely in a position to lend one an interesting sum of money.
All too often, children are accompanied by adults.
margueritem almost 14 years ago
Major mistake…
Tantor almost 14 years ago
yes
Sisyphos almost 14 years ago
Lucas, will you never learn? (Why do I even ask–the answer is plain to see!)
The missing M. Smokey almost 14 years ago
Ho ho ho
wraith13 almost 14 years ago
MAYBE FOR CHRISTMAS YOU CAN HAVE THAT FOOT REMOVED FROM YOUR MOUTH
JR6019 almost 14 years ago
After spending the day with a bunch of kids, I bet most mall Santas probably agree with Lucas. I don’t hate kids, but they can, at times, be hard to handle. And after 8 hours? Whew!
runar almost 14 years ago
It looks like Lucas should read David Sedaris’ The Santaland Diaries.
Children: Pro & Con
– from Fran Lebowitz
Pro:
A “mere child” is preferable to a mere adult. Children are small, which makes them useful for getting at those hard-to-reach places. Children ask better questions, like “May I have a cookie?” and “Why is the sky blue?” as opposed to “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?” Children make better Scrabble opponents because they are easier to beat and fun to cheat.
Con:
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. Children respond inadequately to sardonic humor and veiled threats. Children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one’s interest in the topic has waned. Children are rarely in a position to lend one an interesting sum of money. All too often, children are accompanied by adults.
syke34 almost 14 years ago
Be careful or you’ll be unemployed.