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Like the peasant said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when the operators of the ābring out your deadā wagon kept trying to throw āim on it: āI feel happyyyyyyā¦ā :-)
BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!Man: Hereās one-Cart-master: Ninepence.Old Man: (feebly) Iām not dead!Cart-master: (suprised) What?Man: Nothing! Hereās your ninepenceā¦.Old Man: Iām not dead!Cart-master: āEre! āE says āeās not dead!Man: Yes he is.Old Man: Iām not!Cart-master: āE isnāt?Man: Wellā¦ he will be soonā heās very illā¦Old Man: Iām getting better!Man: No youāre not, youāll be stone dead in a moment.Cart-master: I canāt take āim like that! Itās against regulations!Old Man: I donāt want to go on the cartā¦.Man: Oh, donāt be such a baby.Cart-master: I canāt take āimā¦.Old Man: I feel fine!Man: Well, do us a favorā¦Cart-master: I canāt!Man: Can you hang around a couple of minutes? He wonāt be longā¦Cart-master: No, gotta get to Robinsonās, they lost nine today.Man: Well, whenās your next round?Cart-master: Thursday.Old Man: I think Iāll go for a walkā¦.Man: Youāre not fooling anyone, you knowā (to Cart-master) Look, isnāt there something you can doā¦?
(they both look around)
Old Man: I feel happy! I feel happy!
(the Cart-master deals the old man a swift blow to the head with his woodenspoon.The old man goes limp.)
Man: (throwing the old man onto the cart) Ah. thanks very much.Cart-master: Not at all. See you on Thursday!Man: Right! All rightā¦.
baddawg1989 over 6 years ago
Like the peasant said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when the operators of the ābring out your deadā wagon kept trying to throw āim on it: āI feel happyyyyyyā¦ā :-)
clayusmcret Premium Member over 6 years ago
BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!Man: Hereās one-Cart-master: Ninepence.Old Man: (feebly) Iām not dead!Cart-master: (suprised) What?Man: Nothing! Hereās your ninepenceā¦.Old Man: Iām not dead!Cart-master: āEre! āE says āeās not dead!Man: Yes he is.Old Man: Iām not!Cart-master: āE isnāt?Man: Wellā¦ he will be soonā heās very illā¦Old Man: Iām getting better!Man: No youāre not, youāll be stone dead in a moment.Cart-master: I canāt take āim like that! Itās against regulations!Old Man: I donāt want to go on the cartā¦.Man: Oh, donāt be such a baby.Cart-master: I canāt take āimā¦.Old Man: I feel fine!Man: Well, do us a favorā¦Cart-master: I canāt!Man: Can you hang around a couple of minutes? He wonāt be longā¦Cart-master: No, gotta get to Robinsonās, they lost nine today.Man: Well, whenās your next round?Cart-master: Thursday.Old Man: I think Iāll go for a walkā¦.Man: Youāre not fooling anyone, you knowā (to Cart-master) Look, isnāt there something you can doā¦?
(they both look around)
Old Man: I feel happy! I feel happy!
(the Cart-master deals the old man a swift blow to the head with his woodenspoon.The old man goes limp.)
Man: (throwing the old man onto the cart) Ah. thanks very much.Cart-master: Not at all. See you on Thursday!Man: Right! All rightā¦.
MeGoNow Premium Member over 6 years ago
We paid for that plot, and by God, youāre going to use it.
Stevefk over 6 years ago
He was just dying to see how many people would actually show up for his funeral!
Spock over 6 years ago
His friends assembled at the wake,
And Mrs. Finnegan called for lunch,
First they brought in tay and cake,
Then pipes, tobacco, and whiskey punch.
Miss Biddy OāBrien began to cry,
āSuch a neat clean corpse, did you ever see,
Arrah, Tim mavourneen, why did you die?ā
āAh, hould your gab,ā said Paddy McGee.
(Chorus:) Whackfolthedah ā¦
[ā¦]
Then Micky Maloney raised his head,
When a noggin of whiskey flew at him,
It missed and falling on the bed,
The liquor scattered over Tim;
Bedad he revives, see how he rises,
And Timothy rising from the bed,
Says, āWhirl your liquor round like blazes,
Thanam oān dhoul, do ye think Iām dead?ā
[Irish, āSoul to the devil ā¦ā]
(Chorus:) Whackfolthedah
(In James Joyceās book, they then tell him that he already has an successor and he should stay in the coffin.)
Nighthawks Premium Member over 6 years ago
theyāre crying over their lost inheritance
Jeffin Premium Member over 6 years ago
Wanna keep it down. Weāre trying to grieve over here.
Diat60 over 6 years ago
Granny Weatherwax: āI haināt deadā.
Lakegal over 6 years ago
Iām missing the little alienā¦ He disappeared in a ladyās car on the 17th. Heās been abducted!
cuzinron47 over 6 years ago
Yeah, but now youāre gutless.
p_sully214 over 6 years ago
In answer to Steven Coveyās question āWhat do you want people to say about you at your funeral?ā my response is āHOLY SMOKE!!!HEāS ALIVE!ā
Andrew Sleeth over 6 years ago
āI see dead people ā¦ "