Close to Home by John McPherson for June 30, 2019

He must be using the “Gunny Hartman” (from "Full Metal Jacket) navigation package.;-D

What made Dan’s GPS all human is that the road was blocked and the GPS knew it.

Initially, I go a shorter way on a GPS trip. I know a better way to get to the highway, for instance.

Mine just says, “Recalculating.” Quite often, I might add.

My GPS is just like my ex-wife, always telling me where to go.

I think someone should create a GPS voice that sounds like my mother-in-law, routed through the back-seat speakers…. turn right ahead, I said right! Turn right! RIGHT! …oh, now you’ve done it! ….. (on second thought….)

I heard or read somewhere that German GPS units speak in a man’s voice because Germans don’t take orders from women.

If I know the way, I use it mostly not to miss a turnoff [I go back roads/old US Highways. Sometimes I turn it on – just to see what GPS thinks is faster/shorter and then laugh at it. If I’m in a new area – I do use it and also for negotiating urban interstates when reaching my destination. But I have also studied the map before I left.

Everyone should know even numbered roads run east-west?

Very Fortunate to NOT have a GPS! Memorize real maps, & not afraid to take a map with me when asking directions. One person was very confused with the map, & reached for his schmardt phone & hunted for the place I wanted to go.Things have certainly changed.

Holy crap! Who in the world mated a GPS with a terminator?!

I’ve always wondered why no one has invented a verbally abusive GPS.

Sometimes GPS has a hard time admitting when it’s wrong.

Years ago I had one of those stand-alone GSP systems. Whenever I deviated from the route, the woman’s voice always sounded so sarcastic when she said “recalculating”. I could swear I heard her sighing.

It’s in Wife mode.