Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for June 12, 2019

I get plenty of exercise being a pallbearer for my friends who exercise.

I think that’s called a “beer mile”. I wonder if they’d just let me jug the four beers and call it done.

We can’t have that. No, sir.

Dean Martin called. He wants his joke back! And another martini! And Tom Hardy to re-make ‘The Wrecking Crew!’

In my case, the patty kept falling out of my burger.

A perfectly valid excuse.

The most dangerous words in the English language: “Hold my beer and watch this!”

Another old joke: “A man fell down a flight of stairs with a pint of beer, yet didn’t spill a drop.”

“How’d he do that?”

“He kept his mouth shut!”

Reminds me of the story of the Irishman working in a whiskey distillery. His co-worker came and informed his wife she was now a widow, as he had fallen into a vat of whiskey and drowned. She asked if her dear husband had suffered and his co-worker responded, “I don’t think so, he climbed out 3 times before he finally succumbed”.

Beer – Beer, my kingdom for a Beer! Or something like that.

At least he did not get run over by a beer truck jogging home from the health food store.