Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 07, 2020
Transcript:
it's free comic book day!!! issue 34 collector's edition rmc unlike most, captain rolemodel practices preventive superheroics. rolemodel: what's that below? a child! engaged in aimless loitering! must get to him in time! everybody knows kids need positive role models. rolemodel: else they may grow up to be supervillains, like slugman or the sullen creep or the fiendish mr. uh-oh! rolemodel: if i'm too late, this kid could eventually become dr. negatron, ph.d, criminal master-mind! he's a ticking timebomb! out of my way! oh, why can't i fly? boy: wow! captain rolemodel! i thought you wore a cape. rolemodel: not any more. it was a choking hazard, like if someone grabbed it from behind. whew uf puf rolemodel: now, under the influence of my positive mentoring power, you will be-come a productive member of society! boy: gosh soon- rolemodel: aren't i a refreshing change from all those dark, angst-ridden superheroes? boy: and how! for the first time in my young life, i feel a sense of structure & purpose! x-ray pants loads of laffs! slight cancer risk all sizes - $1795 the visible potato 3-d model not a toy it's a real working potato! $2.9 better posture instantly! new miracle spinal fluid additive throw your sense of smell! informaion booklet 35c big money learn mink ranching at home puny? try our escalator shoes! patented, pair - $15 rubber goiters by mail! special value 99c
gbars70 over 4 years ago
Got the glasses; couldn’t see the point in the pants…
J Quest over 4 years ago
Yeah, I was a sucker for those adverts in the comic books (Sea Monkeys, anyone?) I read an interesting analysis of these products a while back called “Mail-Order Mysteries” The author was able to source some of the actual items, so you can see what you might have wasted your allowance on (regrettably, no “visible potatoes”) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4sm_anxb1k
Teto85 Premium Member over 4 years ago
When I was growing up the people next door raised chinchillas for their fur. They just raised them. Several times a year a truck would come by and take the “chillas” off to be “processed” into coats and dog food.
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
Join the Captain Rolemodel Fan Club and become a Model Citizen today!
smorbie the great and beautiful over 4 years ago
Now we know what happened to the Uh Oh baby. He became a super villain. Now we know what doom he was portending.
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
Ugh! Captain Rolemodel is so darned self-righteous! Give me a dastardly villain and a rock-em sock-em Dark Superhero any day….