Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for November 22, 2020
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac colors in the news by richard thompson beige astroners have determined that the universe is basically beige, not, as previously thought, turquoise or avocade or harvest gold. astronomer 1: colonial ivory? buff? sand? off-putty? astronomer 2: nope, beige. the unverse - not to scale multihue the homeland security council has devised a color code to signal the current terrorism alert level. it looks like a tricked up traffic light & everyody gets one to hang in the kitchen. man: ok, it's orange. woman: orange means "head immediately to your designated retail center and commence shopping." green it's the color of all beer served in the u.s. today, except in those counties with blue laws. man 2: what is this loathsome swill? leprechaun: give us another & don't be stingy with the miniature marshmallows.
Cpeckbourlioux about 4 years ago
On man’s swill is another wee man’s lager.
DCBakerEsq about 4 years ago
In The OC, we’ve fallen back into the accursed Purple Tier of Forlorn Hope.
It means we’re violating all the California coronavirus mandates and must be punished. We’re beyond saving.
fritzoid Premium Member about 4 years ago
The Homeland Security “Terror Alert” code was a joke, because it was ALWAYS orange (“High”). I don’t recall a single day, regardless of what was going on in the world, where it dipped to yellow (“Elevated”) or rose to red (“Severe”). Just enough to keep people scared all the time, but not so scared they’d actually change any plans. God only knows what would have been required to reach blue (“Guarded”), and green {"Low") would likely only be possible when the Messiah comes and there is no more strife in the world.
Sisyphos about 4 years ago
All life is pretty much beige these days, if not more greyish….