Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for August 16, 2020

The rest of Ballard St. is taking up a collection to get him a one way ticket to Bermuda.

He’s a bit understated for Ballard St – I’m not sure he’s going to fit in.

Bertrand was spotted at the Ballard Drop In Clinic sporting some interesting burn marks on his ankles and…er…elsewhere.

Poor Nelson, in spite of his lacy fringe, he is outdone by Bertrand.

How did he even get past the Bermuda Censor Committee?

Why haven’t those shorts disapeared into the Bermuda Triangle?

The star-spangled banner. As in ban him.

Most definitely NOT Bermuda shorts. I should know, lived there for 18 years!

Don’t leave Nelson. In just a few minutes he won’t be so flashy.

And, if they were honest about it, most gawkers would have to admit that they are just waiting for his little pompoms are to ignite.

Nelson decided to forgo the whole Bermuda thing; besides it’s a tiny insignificant island with those people that are always trying to impress with their pompous accents. He went totally rogue and founded the Tacky Khaki Club.

Speaking of Bermuda. I once stayed there for almost 2 weeks. I rented a scooter (not to be confused with Scooter) so I could drive around the island. The first day I was out driving, everyone was waving at me. I was so happy, waving back to these amiable folks as I drove along. I thought, wow, how friendly they are. It soon dawned on me that I was driving on the wrong side of the road, and they were trying to wave me over to the left side of the road.

He needs to shop at the new guy’s store: Bermuda Schwartz & Co.

Dear Lord!

The new guy’s guys will soon be in need of guys gauze… ☺

I was issued a pair of those for UN duty in Cypress. Got cancelled and had to turn them back in. Whew!

Nelson tried sparklers but after a nasty burn gave them up… with asbestos undies he wonders.. perhaps.. he could stay.

No shit!

Ouch, third degree burns under the horizon.

Bertrand is a member of the Ballard Advanced Bermuda Shorts Club. Keep trying to up your game, Nelson, and you’ll be there eventually.

As Nelson ratings go, Nelson doesn’t quite make the grade.