Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for October 22, 2020

Is that what they’re calling it now? It used to be “cosmetic surgery.” “Abatement” used to refer to taxes. Probably easier, cheaper, and less risky to seek a tax abatement, Warren.

I think you could use a sewing machine to “abate” that section of skin.

I hear clothes pins work well. You could even pin it up into decorative swirls.

Warren should also wonder why his right arm is so much baggier than the left.

There’s enough there to make a nice billfold, Warren!

Canditates are usually long on wind.

See a mohel about that, Warren. Maybe Rabbi Slipkutitz at the Ballard Synagogue and Kosher deli can take care of it for you.

Cellulite abatement? That’s a stretch.

Maybe first, he should try to find out whether they’re looking for somebody to play Mr. Fantastic in a Marvel film.

Nah… beyond the stretchiness, I guess he doesn’t really cut it as a superhero.

Hey… maybe he could play Mr. Fantastic’s father.

Or grandfather?

Warren is beginning to resemble a flying squirrel.

The Ehlers-Danlos is strong in this one.

Maybe he could become a light bulb salesman…

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⁽ˢᵉˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᶦᵍʰᵗ⁾ ☺

Nah.. doughnuts are the solution.. fill that skin by eating doughnuts.

That looks like my neck!

That gives me the heebeejeebees.