Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for December 08, 2020

Is this how the people on Ballard Street show how wealthy they are?

Still trying to get the point of TP’ing a clothesline.

Not familiar with this sport. Clothesline TP? In any event, it seems out of place in the world of today.

Who has that much TP? We’re on the verge of another shut-down, I wouldn’t waste it if I were you, ladies.

We can’t all be T. P. stars.

If they’re preparing for Halloween, they’re a bit late.

Trisha has sadly wasted the preseason.

It’s a shame, because Trisha was on a roll.

Looks like her career is going down the toilet.

Watch out for bears

Not really a member of the Ballard County Women’s Alternative Sports Society….

But BCWASS members do come into my salon …

and occasionally talk about their events.

If I don’t have this one mixed up with another sport…

which is easy enough, as at least four involve toilet paper…

which, BTW, they genteelly refer to as “bathroom tissue”….

the object of BT clothesline toss is to get your roll to soar over the line, then unroll neatly on the ground as far as possible.

This is just a practice, as you can tell because no judges are present.

At at actual meet there would be five judges and a field of six to ten competitors, each making four official tosses.

One practice toss is allowed in early meets… but the score does NOT count and cannot be swapped with that of an official toss, even if higher.

Points are earned on each toss in four categories:

“Air” … ie, inches of clearance, Form, Feminine dress, and Distance, with Distance points counting double.

Points are lost for excess folds on the ground and other fine distinctions I can’t remember.

Penalties are given for hitting or going under the rope, as Trisha does here… and other things including breakage of the strip.

Wearing trousers or shorts disqualifies the entrant.

This strip was originally published in 2003.

All live events and even virtual bathroom tissue ones are suspended during this pandemic.

But you may want to know that because of the penalties on strip breakage, many participants use particularly strong and unbreakable tissue…

imported especially for the sport from the Ukraine and a few other countries.

If you ever tried to use it for its ostensibly original purpose you wold not mind that they waste it.

They will regret wasting the TP…shortages.

Conditioning, coordination… six of one, half dozen of the other… ☺

Guessing from Trisha position she had at least one too many Gin and Tonics.

Precious cargo, ladies.

DON’T WASTE PRECIOUS TP GIRLS!

Clearly no pandemic on Ballard Street. Plenty of TP here.

Bandages. Non-sterile. Washable, reusable many times.

Necessary, too…