Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 27, 2011

Miriam needs to be the “anti-noise”!

The best-seller would be the program.

Not every writer has a Muse, but every writer has at least one Anti-Muse.

Hey, Miriam – isn’t there a program that’ll kvetch for you? Then you’ll have more time to clean out the basement!

Oh, come on! You can’t squash a writer’s creative spark like that. We’re already prone to writer’s block.

If this is a smartphone app reference, I’ll say it now. It’s no wonder smartphones have to be so smart. Their users are often total idiots who begin to rely on their phones to do everything for them except wipe them in the bathroom! Give me a good old-fashioned “dumb” phone any day. One that requires a little intelligent input to do something. And as a hack–I mean, “computer expert,” the way they make those things so idiot-proof limits what I can do with them in terms of hardware and software. Worse, the more idiot-proof something is, the better the idiot that will appear.

Also, she’s the anti-amuse.

She’s anti-amusing.

Now I have an excuse. “I would be finishing the Great American Novel except for her.” Sounds better than “I was on the last chapter and the cat stepped on delete.” Or the true one, “I’ll start right after I finish this bottle.”

Nothing like a good pep talk to get you motivated…

Basements are good places to bury things that have outlived their usefulness.

It was 3 a.m and a dame in a pink slip and robe walked in. Of all the gin joints in the world, why did she have to pick mine?

Unfortunately she’s right about the programs. If you read any writer’s (writers’?) magazines there are pages and pages of advertising for “helps” in formatting a story or novel. It’s incredible. As a former bookseller, I think a lot of authors use them because you could find the same “theme” in romances, thrillers, and popular genres all in the same year! “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

And this is my wife, the anti-muse and direct descendant of the Marquis de Sade………….

I prefer the 12 monekys in a room with typewriters approach.

Miriam=Mrs Miller?

rayannina Thank you!

oh look. it’s my sister-in-law

If there are only four “original” plots, isn’t almost everyone a plagiarist?

I’m with Richard Russell: the way professionals learn to write, or get over writer’s block, is to write. Faithfully, every day. (Getting rid of the trash that you spew out until the writing actually gets started–that’s for editing.)

Like always, he didn’t hear a thing.

There should be an App for that.

Write on a deadline - that will make you a Writer. Especially when the editor hates your guts.

wants him to write a best cellar.

“101 ways to remove bloodstains from basement concrete” by James Patterson and this-other-guy.

You don’t need Auntie Muse hanging about.

You know - just to play devil’s advocate…

Sometimes basements really do need to be cleaned out….

(Ducks for cover…)

DjGuardian said, about 20 needs ago

There should be an App for that.

There is one–at least a plot generator. All you need after that is bad writing.