Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 19, 2003

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling JUDGE SCALIA in "The Lone Wolf of Law" Our story thus far: cruelly betrayed by his brethren, Judge Scalia has opted to take his brand of tough, traditional justice underground! Judge Scalia: Ah, this is a thrill those pantywaist justices, sitting on their cushy bench in Washington, will never know! Suddenly, his nostrils detect a human presence! Judge Scalia: Perspiration... Irish Spring... Flannel! With panther-like stealth, he investigates! Man: What a pleasant hike! Woman: I think the cabin is a mile up this path! Muscles coiled, he tracks his quarry until... Judge Scalia: I find you guilty of ATTEMPTED SODOMY! Man: There's no such thing! Judge Scalia: Oh, yes there IS...unless you've got some radical homosexual agenda! Park Ranger: Park ranger, ma'am! Everything okay here? Park Ranger: Sir...? Judge Scalia: Shriek! The feds! Man: H-he was like some kind of primitive throwback! Judge Scalia: If only those girls would come back to MAINSTREAM AMERICAN SOCIETY! Well, I'd better open up that deer carcass -- it's gonna be a cold night!