Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for May 11, 2021

I once wet towel-snapped a fly perched on my refrigerator door out of this physical realm of existence. I only tried it once, and it succeeded so well that I never tried it again. It left the tiniest little red speck on the door, which cleaned off in < 2 seconds with a paper towel, and there was neither sign nor semblance of fly carcass to be found. Sent to another dimension through a worm hole. I knew I would never equal the feat, so I stopped at one.

My mother was a perfect shot with a rifle. The first time she shot it: BULLS EYE! She never shot a rifle again!

…and the plants are dead. And we forgot to board Miss Fluffenstuff (she is still alive – barely). And the iron burned a hole in the ironing board. And the power must’ve been off for a few days – the refrigerator is full of spoiled food. But the scariest thing of all? You have to go back to work tomorrow!

Irony is the opposite of wrinkly.

Just add a cup of white vinegar and rinse the clothes twice. They will smell fine. (Words of wisdom from my daughter).

It’s a sign that it’s time for a new washer and a new wardrobe.

Still had a good vacation though…..

Detergent, 1/4 cup of bleach, and hit start.