Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 24, 2024
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac by richard thompson new harry potter book spoilt the newest book turns away from harry potter to focus on the mid-life crisis of uncle vernon. his son, dudley, has joined a sect of snake-handling scientologists, & his wife, petunia, has bought a tram-poline & is trying to forcibly rapture her-self up to heaven. feeling lost & anxious, vernon starts drinking heavily. he takes long walks, muttering to himself in the third person, trying to sort out his life. this goes on for 16 chapters. then, on page 724, he has an epiphany. for a brief moment, he glimpses the infinite joy & variety of life. but then, a random magic spell, left over from the last book, turns him into a potted aspidistra, tzzt which further alenates him from petunia & dudley. petunia: dudley, have you watered your father today? dudley: aw, i did it yestiddy, mum.
GovernorOfCalisota {LoveBozobyFoxo} Premium Member 7 months ago
I love Richard Thompson. Too bad he left so soon.
Cpeckbourlioux 7 months ago
This is hilarious!
SteveHL 7 months ago
In the 1969 film The Bed -Sitting Room, after a nuclear war people turn into various unlikely things – a cupboard, a parrot, and (of course) a bed-sitting room.
stamps 7 months ago
High heels and trampolines do not bode well.
jmcenanly 7 months ago
I don’t know if it was intentional, but “Vernon Dursley” sounds like someone muttering under their breath.