Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for December 20, 2021

Santa Claus Is Scorchin’ Deep Down…

“Santa’s roasting on an open fire….”

Get some snow down that chimney, quick.

“…again.”

My son just moved to a house with no fireplace so I asked my 6 year old grandaughter how Santa was going to get in the house. After a few seconds she said Santa will use the digital door lock on the door.

Who’s turn is it to pee

oh, c’mon, everyone knows Santas costume is fireproof.

Smells like singed Santa butt….snerks

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire….

Gee Santa, you’d think smoke from the chimney would sign that there’s fire down below.

Santa’s got s’mores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Santa, Santa, Santa! Where is the concern for five sets of legs but seven reindeer?

We put ours up on the 18th. Cut it fresh ourselves on the 17th at a family run tree farm we have been going to for years.

Decorating doesn’t end until the ‘last’ X-mas card received has been placed on it along with all the decorations.

We take it down on New Year’s Day and put the room back in order.

I cut all the branches off and cut the trunk into 4-5 lengths. Put them in a paper bag in the garage until next year. The pieces serve as our Yule log Christmas Eve. The practice started with our first tree 46 years ago so every year except the first we have had a Yule log to watch burn, sitting talking, with homemade eggnog to drink.

I thought the Santa Contract explicitly said " You will get no presents if you have a fire in your fireplace the night of Dec 24-25."

Santa nuts roasting over an open fire!

The prequel to “Gremlins”.