Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 12, 2022

Loco enough for a blonde who’s not dumb

So is this plot 3, or plot 7? If I’m not mistaken, Hallmark only has 7 plots to work with.

Loco-motion???

That’s worse than dealing with a Rotten-X agent.

There’s nothing original about a Hallmark movie.

It must be a Rotten-X agent. The band is playing a tango.

Oh no! Not a Hallmark movie! Grab your insulin, grandma!

So, he’s going to leave her alone with a suspected goon? That doesn’t seem well thought out…

KA-CHA-CHA!

Those Hallmark movies are so cliched. My Mom watches them from time to time, but she’s well aware of how ridiculous they are and mostly watches them ironically. (Or when there’s nothing else on.) I saw a Simpsons episode that spoofed Hallmark movies and it really showed how cheesy they are quite well. I think Hallmark movies are one of two heavily cliched genres that are more fun to make fun of than watch. The other genre is slasher flicks. You couldn’t pay me to watch a dead serious slasher flick (too gruesome, too mean spirited, etc.) but I would gladly watch one being ridiculed and spoofed to point that it’s no longer scary and more funny.

I’ve actually worked as an extra in some Hallmark original thrillers that were filmed in Bermuda.