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As a rule, I can figure these out, but today is difficult to decipher. Can anyone elaborate? (Yes I know there is a paywall, this is why I’m asking.)
Dear Carolyn: I do not remember my grandparents fondly. While they doted on my brothers, I — the only girl — was ignored. They attended my brothers’ sporting events, but not mine. They skipped my high school, college, and master’s degree graduations. This hurt me very much.
One grandparent died years ago and the second just passed away. Their estate was split between their children and they left it up to each child to decide whether to share money with the grandchildren.
My mom wrote me a large check that I have not cashed. It feels like a payoff. Mom often brings up what good people they were as if to convince me of their goodness. If I take this money, then I worry she will use it to say, “See! They enabled you to … [donate, travel, save, etc.].” If I don’t take it, then I worry she will say I’m being resentful.
The truth is, I don’t care about the money. I wanted to feel loved and I never did. I wanted her to stand up for me and she didn’t. What do I do with this check?
NWdryad over 2 years ago
As a rule, I can figure these out, but today is difficult to decipher. Can anyone elaborate? (Yes I know there is a paywall, this is why I’m asking.)
leonz over 2 years ago
She’s spending here incapacitated/dying/dead spouses money as she lives in a community property state.
lunatic03867 over 2 years ago
Dear Carolyn: I do not remember my grandparents fondly. While they doted on my brothers, I — the only girl — was ignored. They attended my brothers’ sporting events, but not mine. They skipped my high school, college, and master’s degree graduations. This hurt me very much.
One grandparent died years ago and the second just passed away. Their estate was split between their children and they left it up to each child to decide whether to share money with the grandchildren.
My mom wrote me a large check that I have not cashed. It feels like a payoff. Mom often brings up what good people they were as if to convince me of their goodness. If I take this money, then I worry she will use it to say, “See! They enabled you to … [donate, travel, save, etc.].” If I don’t take it, then I worry she will say I’m being resentful.
The truth is, I don’t care about the money. I wanted to feel loved and I never did. I wanted her to stand up for me and she didn’t. What do I do with this check?
— Cash in Hand