Over the Hedge by T Lewis and Michael Fry for August 22, 2022

Then I must be a squirrel, too.

Skip the pedicure. I want my nails to scratch out the eyes of the last moron who said we only had 12 years left. I don’t care who she is.

Actually, I thought it was 3 billion years left.

I remember when David Bowie said we only had 5 years.

The earth will be here for about 96 million more Thursdays, but I’m not sure your pedicurist will be.

The world has already survived thousands of predictions of its untimely end. Some by scientists, some by prophets, poets, ancient tribes, Mayan calendars, priests, rabbis and the occasional bureaucrats.

https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap060726.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chandrasekhar_limit

Actually Jesus is going to return to judge the world and will make all things new. No one knows the day or the hour, but it’s probably sooner than you think

and the new funky math is they’re teaching is hard for everybody

They need to wait a minute, wipe the dipstick, and read it again.

I must be a squirrel, here I thought I was just nuts.