Herb and Jamaal by Stephen Bentley for December 26, 2023

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    Yakety Sax  11 months ago

    From NOT ALWAYS RIGHT: Not The Best Way To Keep The “Christ” In “Christmas”

    It’s Christmas morning, and my husband and I are sitting in the living room sipping our coffee when there is a knock on the door. It’s a woman in very conservative attire. I am in my pajama shorts and a tank top with no bra. She takes this in and blushes, looking away.

    Me: “Hello?”

    Woman: “Merry Christmas, sister in Christ!” Tries to hand me a pamphlet “Will we be seeing you at the service today?”

    Me: “Oh. No, thank you, we aren’t interested in church. Have a wonderful day, though, and Merry Christmas.”

    I close the door, but before I can sit back down, she knocks again.

    Woman: Through the door “The Lord wants you at church!”

    Me: “And I want you off my property!”

    Woman: Knocking louder “Miss, please, the Lord loves you and—”

    Me: “I will answer that door as naked as your God made me!”

    Husband: “Oh! Knock! Do it!”

    The woman finally left, but not without putting a pamphlet in the door frame, a second under the wiper on my car, and a third in the mailbox. They were for a church miles away, one known locally for (allegedly) pressuring women into being unquestionably subservient to their husbands, and for (allegedly) looking the other way when a wife had an opinion and later showed up with a bruise or two.

    NOT my story!

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