Herb and Jamaal by Stephen Bentley for September 07, 2024

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    Yakety Sax  3 months ago

    A Breakdown Evens Out A Breakup (happy ending)

    (I am a cashier at a drugstore, trying to get through my last year of university, when I see a girl in the same uni hoodie as mine enter the store. She seems to be around 18 or 19 and is holding an aftershave that usually costs around £40.)

    Girl: in tears “I’m so sorry. I bought this a couple of weeks ago and I want to return it. I know I might not be able to because it’s opened, but is there anything you can do?”

    Me: “Er… My manager is just over there; I’ll grab her. Is everything… okay?”

    Girl: “No, I’m sorry. My boyfriend is at [Distant Uni], and I bought some of his aftershave so I could make his hoodies smell of him — I know that sounds strange — and he broke up with me last week, and I can’t bear to smell this stupid f****** smell anymore, but there’s loads left, and I don’t want to waste my money…“ breaks down again

    Me: “Oh, no! I’m so sorry about that. This is my manager; could you explain that to her?”

    Manager: “I heard, honey, and I’m so sorry. Give me a second and I’ll see what I can do.”

    (There are a few seconds while my manager tries to refund it.)

    Manager: “Sweetheart, I have some good news: I can refund you even though it’s opened.”

    Girl: “Thank you so much. Do you want me to just… I mean… Should I…”

    Manager: “I’ll take it from you, honey. Do you want cash?”

    Girl: “C-Cash is fine, it’s okay. Thank you.”

    Manager: “While you’re here, sweetheart, get some chocolate or ice cream or anything you need, on me. I got divorced last year and I needed all the chocolate I could get!”

    (The girl declined, but she came in a week later with a box of chocolates and a thank-you card each for me and my manager. In my card was a phone number. Ten years after that, we’ve been married for five years, and we have a baby daughter.)

    (not my story)

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