Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for December 11, 2008

Steve Dallas: the very model of a modern major jerk!

Hmm, that explains a lot.

Time to shoot the Messenger and end the Messages.

Steve has suicidal tendencies.

I don’t think he’s gonna live much longer!! At the very least he’ll probably have a black eye or a fat lip!

He’ll be storing fat in his lip in a minute.

I would’ve said, “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.”

Things You Ought Not Say to a Woman

by Steve Dallas

Please pardon the previous blank (if it even appears). Steve could be my husband’s twin–easily: mouth in motion before brain. Kind of like I have fingers in motion before brain sometimes, thus the blank.

What people forget is, Steve Dallas probably does think before he says.

Girl: “How does it look? Be honest!” Guy: “That’s not my favorite dress, honey, I like the blue one.” Girl: “A$$h0le!”