Scary Gary by Mark Buford for October 13, 2009

Let’s be accurate in our quotations. (Hurtfulness doesn’t count.)

Hey, sometimes you gotta take your sympathy with a little arsenic-laced tea.

Hey, some creatures of the night are just uh big-boned….

Ba-da-boom!

gary, you know how leopold is, take it with a grain of salt

but not garlic salt

That doesn’t sound all that subtle to me.

Yannow, Gary just isn’t enjoying his afterlife. He could lose his weight like snaps fingers that, being undead and all. I think he just chooses to look like a blimp.