Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 15, 2000

Transcript:

washington, dc monday, 9:00am good lord, have you heard about the new craze? companies are selling live explosives, covered in a narcotic with addictive properties, as a consumer product!! we've got to illegalize it immediately!! not until we see the guys in o.o.f.c. it's a good thing you came to us! we can't take these off the market! dangerous products are a gold mine for the government! first, this will create a whole new highly profitable industry which we can not only tax, but we can slap sin taxes on, too! then, by always threatening more taxes and regulation, we'll channel tons of lobbying and contribution monies into the system. and look at the money we'll save as people who would otherwise become drains on medicare and social security get killed off. and finally, we'll just sue every manufacturer and reap all of the profits they made on the product! well, what should we do for now? let;s start with as lame a public service announcement as possible... it's cool to say 'no' to codeine-coated land-mine pops!