Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 26, 2006

Transcript:

"a bad week for pluto" pluto not a 'classical' planet scientists are now considering demoting the erstwhile 'ninth planet' to the status of 'pluton' a new sub-planet category. photos showing pluto in the fab four in hamburg likely caused by thumbprint on camera lense. pluto's presence when the beatles visited with the maharishi in india now believed to be incidental. pluto's only undisputed contribution, the piano parts on 'you like me too much', deemed insignificant. pluto's 2004 'sixth man' award revoked the nba rescinded the award when it was discovered that the astronomical body's gravitational field is not only immeasurably small, it is not any more likely to favor one team over another. pluto deemed not a member of 'mickey's gang' disneyologists argue that the gang already includes a male dog, goofy, who, like the other members can walk and talk. including a non-speaking quadrupedal character like pluto would necessitate the inclusion of many other insufficiently anthropomorphized animals such as background cats, birds and humorous bees.