A lady buys a pet parrot that used to belong to a sailor, and then finds that it swears a lot. She can’t get him to stop, so she asks a friend for advice. The friend says that she knows a minister whose parrot prays a lot, and suggests that they have one bird visit the other so that the praying bird will be a good influence on the cursing bird. The two birds are put into one cage and left alone awhile; the crude bird says, “Hiya toots, wanna fool around?” and the minister’s bird says, “You betcha, big boy; that’s what I’ve been praying for!”
That looks more like a cardinal than a parrot.Another old joke:A man bought a parrot, and the pet shop owner gave him a warning: “He was owned by a navy man who used it to pay his tab in a real sleazy waterfront bar. He’s been around sailors and crooks and loose women all his life, so his vocabulary is going to be a little coarse”. The guy figured that he could deal with a few bad habits. However, on the way home, four women slapped him for remarks made by the parrot, and when they got home, he told it that he wouldn’t tolerate any more bad language. The parrot launched into a tirade, of which “What the %&$* you think you’re going to do about it, you @#*!&?” was the mildest. To show the parrot he meant business, he shoved the bird in the freezer and blocked the door shut. For a while, muffled squawking could be heard, but it soon came to an abrupt halt. Concerned about what the cold might do to his new pet, he let it out after a few minutes. Back on its perch, the parrot said, “I’m sorry, and I promise I will watch what I say from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?”
jtviper7 over 13 years ago
Better watch it Polly…Wolverines love parrots.
benbrilling over 13 years ago
What a wise-cracker!
Sherlock Watson over 13 years ago
Old joke:
A lady buys a pet parrot that used to belong to a sailor, and then finds that it swears a lot. She can’t get him to stop, so she asks a friend for advice. The friend says that she knows a minister whose parrot prays a lot, and suggests that they have one bird visit the other so that the praying bird will be a good influence on the cursing bird. The two birds are put into one cage and left alone awhile; the crude bird says, “Hiya toots, wanna fool around?” and the minister’s bird says, “You betcha, big boy; that’s what I’ve been praying for!”
runar over 13 years ago
That looks more like a cardinal than a parrot.Another old joke:A man bought a parrot, and the pet shop owner gave him a warning: “He was owned by a navy man who used it to pay his tab in a real sleazy waterfront bar. He’s been around sailors and crooks and loose women all his life, so his vocabulary is going to be a little coarse”. The guy figured that he could deal with a few bad habits. However, on the way home, four women slapped him for remarks made by the parrot, and when they got home, he told it that he wouldn’t tolerate any more bad language. The parrot launched into a tirade, of which “What the %&$* you think you’re going to do about it, you @#*!&?” was the mildest. To show the parrot he meant business, he shoved the bird in the freezer and blocked the door shut. For a while, muffled squawking could be heard, but it soon came to an abrupt halt. Concerned about what the cold might do to his new pet, he let it out after a few minutes. Back on its perch, the parrot said, “I’m sorry, and I promise I will watch what I say from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?”