Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 16, 2003

Transcript:

"Tales of the Old West" "...'When the cowbous awoke in the morning, they noticed that Malcolm, their fellow gunslinger, was gone...most likely kidnapped by the dreaded Apache.'" "Malc's gone." "Curse those Indians." "''...We will ride our horses to their camp and ask if they have Malcolm,' said Fred the cowboy.'" "''Hold on,' said Joe the cowboy, 'those Indians will assume we're attacking and shoot us before we get within 100 yards of their camp'... 'then what can we do?' asked Fred.'" "Listen, Fred...with the Apache, you have to signal your intentions by wearing the right facepaint...if you want to show you come in peace, you smear white paint around your mouth." "'Wearing the appropriate facepaint and hoping to find their friend, Joe and Fred carefully approached the Apache camp, finally coming face-to-face with the Apache chief, to whom they posed their fateful query'..." "What was it?" "got malc?"