Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 11, 2006

Transcript:

"Do you realize that while this entire country has been obsessed with terrorism, a nationwide phenomena has occurred right under our very noses?" "And what is that?" "When no one was looking, every single American woman between the ages of 18 and 32 went out and got a tattoo just above their rumpus." "Their what?" "Buttocks. Tush. Caboose. It's true... Someone must have passed out a memo." "How do you even know this?" "Well, it can be a little hard to observe, but if they wear their jeans real low, you can just see- aw, heck, I am a social scientist extraordinaire! I shall prove my theorem empirically!!" "No no no no no no no no no no." "Excuse me, ma'am, but would you mind pulling down your-" "Crack" "...The scientific life is fraught with peril."