Frazz by Jef Mallett for September 12, 2011

Mrs. Olsen gets the last laugh by giving the speedy, unresearched, poorly thought-out paper a D-.

Probably will have fifteen different philosophical takes and she will get none of them

Starting with @Trapper John from yesterday — hey I was only about seven.

I don’t believe I ever thought at that age about any clothes being “made.” They just sprang full-blown into existence on the racks at Montgomery Ward..

My Mom didn’t sew, and replacing a button was a major undertaking.

Ergo, sewing Superman’s big S onto indestructible material seemed impossible.

Later I learned that things like Superman’s suit and Caulfield’s genius are both created from the stuff of dreams…..

ie, the suspension of disbelief required for the enjoyment of superheroes and comic strips, from talking animals to wise, knowing, 8-year-old philosophers.

Of COURSE Caulfield’s paper will be great – but in it he’ll explain her mistake, and she’ll need some more Excedrin.

How does Caulfield ever keep from getting a swelled head?He needs to take the road of all great innovators of the day; drop out of school so he has the freedom to use his genius.

Caulfield doesn’t say he will turn the paper in early, he’s just asking if he may.

If Calufield really wants to mess with Mrs. Olson’s mind, he should write his paper on “The Tortoise and Achilles.” It will be incomplete, and he’ll argue that the Friday deadline could never have been met, because before the paper could be finished it would have to be half finished, and then three-quarters finished, and then four-fifths finished, ad infinitum.

fritzoid: I think my students often used that theory.

Similar concept, Trapper (essentially it’s identical), but as it was posited the Achilles paradox DID involve Achilles closing the distance towards a goal. At every increment, whenever Achilles reaches the point where the tortoise was the tortoise has nonetheless moved a finite distance further; ergo, Achilles will never catch the tortoise, hoever infinitessimally close he comes.

I was originally going to have Caulfield pursuing a receding deadline, perhaps asking for a three-day extension, then a one-day extension, then a 3-hour extension, etc., but that got too wordy.

If Caulfield really wanted to emulate the hare, he would have to write most of the report right away but never complete it.