Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for February 15, 2012

Has Monsanto patented that yet?

Then what good is it?

I wouldn’t take it internally either.

In order for Wiz to keep his career, he needs to kiss the @$$ of the FDA.

Ah, Well I think Wiz is saying it because he does not want to get a lawsuit. The fact that you “USA-people” even put a warning sign on the microwave “not suitable for drying pets” says it all I should think.

All those drugs they advertize on Tv I noticed one thing: Some of that stuff will kill you faster than the illiness.

There’s a label in the bottom of the battery compartment of my smoke detector that says “Warning – battery not installed” – carefully positioned so it’s not visible when the battery IS installed. Are we really that dumb? In the realm of the evolutionary process, stupidity is a capital offense.

“Gout” … is what you say when you want someone to leave

@kees and 25strings – I think that should have been: Stupidity is a Capitol offense, since that is the real source in the legal world.

Wait until you have gout. You’ll take anything!

You’d think Wiz would have given him something made with beets. I heard beets cure gout.

I bought a jar of peanut butter, and there was a label that said contains peanuts!

aren’t peanuts really legumes, like peas? nuts grow on trees, not underground.

Does that include arsenic and lead bullets? :) (Something tells me you’re probably being ironic anyway, thus the quotes.)

I bought a bathroom heater that had a warning against using it in a bathroom.

The one that gets me is the “nutritional” information of a bottle of soda water! (“Club Soda” to youse Americans)

Barticle35 above has it right. As soon as Monsanto patents it, then sends their CEO in through the revolving door of govt. FDA bureaucrat administrators… it’ll suddenly cure anything that ails ya (well, except those pesky side effects).

I love the warning on a hair dryer that it should not be used in the shower. And irons come with a warning that you should not iron clothes while wearing them.

Cherry juice (pure) actually works pretty well for gout, if you catch it before it gets too bad.

Yes it is. Gout.