Herman by Jim Unger for March 16, 2012

Harold. Do you think this moo moo makes me look fat? No. I think your fat makes you look fat.

Switch the scale readout to metric. Much more forgiving.

Get one for each foot.

It’s like the lottery. Herman, do you feel lucky? Well, do you?

No, he’s not. He just hasn’t told her about the three zeroes that follow the five yet.

A U-Haul truck, maybe.

If I were that guy, I’d just lie. I mean, how’s she ever gonna find out?

The elephant sneezed and fell to her knees and that was the end of the Monk the Monk.

While in the Fire Dept., went on a call for an extremely obese woman. Had to load her into the ambulance on the floor (no gurney) and to weigh her, they took the ambulance over the truck scales before dropping her off at the Hosp., then weighed the rig empty after and called the Hosp. with the difference.

Final weigh in was over 700 lbs.

Just think of what that poor scale is going through.

5 ?? the first number?? 5?? whut kind of scale is that???oh…it’s an elephant scale!!! My mother in law has a couple of those !!! one for each hoof !!!!

Only if she is going to sub for its air bag.

I just don’t want RUBBER DUCKY’S mother in law to squeeze him until he squeaks.

Good one, Essex. I once got a call from a friend, built rather like this one, who asked me to drive her to the store. I wasn’t sure it would work in my MG Midget, but it did, so long as I avoided any bumps or potholes.

there lot of noise in my bath room when my wife gose to weighther self scal trying to break out

Hope that scale only goes up to 3 digits.