Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 16, 2012
Transcript:
second in a series of government information brochures your government, working for you! hello! you've been targeted for a united states drone assassination! greetings, u.s. citizen! if you received this brochure in the mail, or found it mysteriously in your coat pocket or on your pillow, this means your united states government has decided to kill you! you have three days to turn in your u.s. passport to the nearest u.s. embassy or post office. after saying final prayers over your koran or other holy text, pelase place the book in a safe place to avoid it getting vaporized on your body during assassination. (we are mindful of your religious sensitivites!) when you hear the buzzing of the assassination drone: please step away from nearby buildings. please instruct passerby to keep a distance of 30-40 yards. please stand up straight to maximize vertical target. frequently asked questions q. wait. what? a. ha-ha. don't be coy. the president has decided you are a terrorist (for definition, see form 357-t *) and sentenced you to death. q. what if he's wrong? what are the charges? what about "due process"? a. when we're at war, the word "due" is defined as: "we're at war, you filthy animal, you don't get any". (see form 1384-d *) q. what if i'm far from any battlefield? a. the battlefield n the global war on terrorism is "literally everywhere". (see form 482-b *) q. what if the president is a former constitutional law professor? a. write up an essay, and keep it on your person in a metal box. the cia clean-uup crew will find it in the wreckage, and it will be read and graded. did you know...? the war on terrorism has changed the nature of your constitutional rights. this will persist until the united states has signed a peace treaty with the concept of terrorism. *you can not see these forms.
Randy B Premium Member over 12 years ago
Yeah, sure, being killed by your own side will prevent you from being killed by your enemies. Death, then, is the surest form of security.
An Iron Hand in a Velvet Glove over 12 years ago
I love tom the dancing bug but this is a slightly formed idea.
sizer99 over 12 years ago
Hooray, Chris Ware! Seems to be the default infographic style these days, and I’m good with that.
andrew_c over 12 years ago
One of your Founding Fathers said it best: “Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.”
mercmarc over 12 years ago
I will do my patriotic duty by shooting myself, which will save taxpayer dollars on a drone missile.
Possum Pete over 12 years ago
Why go to the trouble of shooting yourself? Just walk around Detroit, Philly, DC, etc. at night. Chances are good someone will shoot you for you. Saves bullet money.
Hookbrah over 12 years ago
@ironhand“slightly formed idea”… I take it you’re referring to Eric Holder’s definition of due process?
ed anger over 12 years ago
@PossumPete Cities are scary places, if you’ve never been to one I suppose.
LLJKTechnogeek over 12 years ago
The problem is that you are attempting to satire a mindset that would post exactly what you said with all seriousness. It’s the same problem the Onion has, really.
Hookbrah over 12 years ago
@LLJKTechnogeekSomehow I don’t think even the most rabid birther would logically equate getting killed with “staying safe.” Perhaps if Judas had said he wouldn’t mind if his neighbor got killed the satire would be less detectable…
Pharmakeus Ubik over 12 years ago
Yes and No. If you think about it, Shrub was at war with a lot of concepts. Gravity, geocentrism being out of vogue, etc.
John Glynn creator over 12 years ago
You really should go read this interview of Ruben over on the Comics Reporter. I’m not joking.
http://bit.ly/FQSIDV
Goblinopolis over 12 years ago
I love this strip.