Agnes by Tony Cochran for April 15, 2012

Awww, Susan, that thought made me sad. (But I DO know people that have done just that.) For all the years I’ve read Granma and Agnes, I really think she loves her little Agnes; Agnes keeps her ‘on her toes’.

Dear Tree, which I take it you live in…perhaps if all of us had enough love to do what we recommend and not enough hate to make disparaging remarks about people who do what they can…and not be so elitist and snobbish in public comments…perhaps the world would be a better place…until, of course, some smart conservative would find a way to warehouse people at the state’s expense, again…sure, you rail against the payments to people who take in kids…but every one of the Reagan-crony-owned warehousing situations I worked in WAS a profit-making institution…just the money came from the state programs into the coffers of your political types…must have been some evil at work there…huh?

Kind of mean, don’t you think? I’ve never seen anything in the strip to indicate that Granny has anything but Agnes’ best interests at heart. She’s just old and poor and knows the reality of the situation that they’re both in. ‘Course as children we know everything. And we remain knowing everything until we’re faced with the same dilemmas our parents were — that of infinte wants and finite means. We can be dishonest and say “Whatever you really want you’ll find a way to get.” But if that was ever true, it’s certainly not true today.

If you think that Granny is augmenting her income (which I personally doubt) by bringing in Agnes, consider where she must have been before. And now she’s upgraded herself all the way to a trailer in the middle of a weedy field! Ask yourself whether you would have done the same in that situation. I don’t know too many people who would have.

Agnes and Granny are exactly alike in their wit and humor. If any extra state money is coming in, it’s not much. Walk a mile in their shoes before criticizing; you’ll need the socks.

Amen. As to your earlier comment, there’s so much we could discuss. But I’ll try to keep it short.

Yes, there are people worse off in this country than Granny. I lived for a few years with two of them, my Mom’s parents. Lots of money in that household—she being an uneducated immigrant housewife who couldn’t speak English very well (and BTW was raised by her grandmother when her mother abandoned her); he, a night watchman. Christmas, though holy, was basically just another day. I’ve heard often enough from aunts and uncles than any gift on Christmas was a huge surprise. To her dying day, my Mom was haunted by the possibility that someday she might somehow again become poor. This even though my Dad had worked hard, chosen well, and made a pretty good career.

Yeah,I was disappointed when relatives sent me socks and shirts for Christmas. ( I was that age in the 1950’s.) Toys are cooler. But after I grew up, I realized that they meant well and that that was the best they could do. That realization really changed my outlook.

So don’t be too hard on Granny. Being poor usually isn’t a choice; mostly it’s a combination of various choices and circumstances that we sometimes have little control over. I’m not about to annoint the poor as nobility though, because there are people out there who are just plain not into what it takes to support themselves and expect us to. But my impression looking around me is that these are a smallish percentage of the universe. Granny I would not count among them.

I hope you get a nice pair of woolen socks for Christmas and for your birthday, knitted with love.

In her / his own subtle way Granny / Tony has taught Agnes / Us that “now” is where it’s at. Thanks Tony, I need that sometimes.

Treesareus, another thing to think about: if the subsidies were MORE, then the state could be more choosy about where to place a child.

As it is, there are not enough foster homes to go around, and social workers have such huge caseloads that these situations are not monitored as they should be. You should read Kathy Harrison’s wonderful books “Another Place at the Table” and “One Small Boat”. Often she gets close to burnout because the social workers call, call, call—“Can you take another kid?”—and there’s so much need and she wants to help them all but can’t.

One other thing: it does actually cost money to feed and clothe a child. And if you are ever going to buy them a present or take them on a trip or special outing, that costs more. It’s kind of ludicrous to think that people who are taking in a child are all able to—or morally owe it to society to make the sacrifices necessary in order to do this for free. Those social service stipends aren’t generous. Foster kids often go from home to home with all their worldly possessions in a garbage sack.

Treesareus, maybe you aren’t in a place where you can take in a child. But I encourage you to volunteer to babysit for foster parents—they need a break too, and many of these children have been so abused in their families of origin that they act out in disturbing ways that the average teen babysitter isn’t prepared to take on. If you find that idea daunting, maybe feel like you should be paid to do such work, or that someone trained in the care of abused children should do that task…well, remember what a low financial priority you just assigned to it.

Hey, if you ever heard me in person, you’d realize that that was short for me. I don’t do sound bites. IMO life is way too complicated for that. Those who do sound bites for it I think are doing all of us a disservice. People like Tony who can find humor in the whole gamish have my undying admiration.

As a child and as an adult and as a father, my family (or families) has taken people in or fostered kids, related or otherwise. Is it that uncommon? I mean, we’re not members of any cult or religion in particular, but it seems to be the thing you do when you have or – or can.

Tony – I love Agnes and her extended family. The strip shares top spot with Frazz and Cul de Sac for things you can’t read locally that I bug editors about and forward links to to people.

Life is much too important to be taken seriously. -Oscar Wilde

Love Agnes. Grannie is tries to prepare Agnes for what will be…. sometimes its safer to just say Yes Ma’am. The trick is learning the when of safer. Darn! That’s a future bit!..My aunt has taken in at least 2 of her grandkids and raised them. And probably a couple more. Never rec’d any monthly stipend from the government. After all, she wasn’t fostering. Just taking the grandkids away from what she deemed a bad situation and raised them herself. If I took in one of my cousin’s kids, I wouldn’t get any monthly stipend. I wouldn’t be fostering. So the question I have, because I would like to know as I’m sure others would:.If Grannie lived in a state (or province) which would pay direct family(like a grandparent) money for raising their own grandhild …… how much would she be getting?

I do, Susan.Thank you.