Rubes by Leigh Rubin for May 11, 2012

Hey, copper, just wait until Mr. Einstein comes zipping by you…but it’s all relative!

When I saw his hair I thought he was Weird Al Yankovic!

Actually officer, if you factor in the earth’s rotation we are all speeding.

We circle our sun at 66,000+ mph.

Opps. He forgot about the equal and opposite reaction one.

My friends call me Fig.

Newton’s FIRST linear speeding ticket.

Now tell him the story about the apple.

Newton himself often told the story that he was inspired to formulate his theory of gravitation by watching the fall of an apple from a tree. Although it has been said that the apple story is a myth and that he did not arrive at his theory of gravity in any single moment, acquaintances of Newton (such as William Stukeley, whose manuscript account, published in 1752, has been made available by the Royal Society) do in fact confirm the incident, though not the cartoon version that the apple actually hit Newton’s head. Stukeley recorded in his Memoirs of Sir Isaac Newton’s Life a conversation with Newton in Kensington on 15 April 1726.

(Source: Wikipedia)

Another physics joke:Police officer: “Mr Heisenberg, do you realize how fast you were going?”Heisenberg: “No officer, but I can tell you exactly where I was”

So the SC radar cop asked me if I knew why he stopped me and I said; " because I’m just traveling through and you’ll never see me again, right?"Taking charge, as he must, he told me I was going 82 in a 70mph zone. I pulled out my GPS that showed the best I’d done all day was 78. “Draw?” Draw. “Your defective equipment is just as defective as mine and the satellites are within 30 feet tolerance, so let’s agree to disagree and let it go at that, OK? "Lots of bluster and fuming, but I got let loose.. Sheeesh… sure wish cops would get some education in sine over cosine and angular precepts before hitting the road with their drive for revenue enhancement and to show the boss they’ve "been active’ that shift.

Ripped from the headlines:Physicist Beats Traffic Ticket With Mathematical Paperhttp://abcnews.go.com/Technology/california-physicist-beats-traffic-ticket-mathematical-proof/story?id=16150993

Laws of motion v. law of motion.

I thought he was Wayne Newton at first.

8)